i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
