just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Randomize
