I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
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