Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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