Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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