Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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