the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
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