Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
