Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
