Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
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