Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Randomize