I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
It's blow job season.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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