Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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