Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
no, he came in my armpit
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
