why do cheetos always look like penises
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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