Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
We got so high we made milksteak
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
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