I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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