I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
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