i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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