She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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