her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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