Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
