nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
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