Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
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