are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
