I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
