There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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