Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
