would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
