Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
