whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
