there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
