One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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