Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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