your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
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