She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
