the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
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