you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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