Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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