The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
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