His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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