My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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