Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
The police scanner is talking about you again....
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
