So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
