Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
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