yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
