there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
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