I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
