the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
how does that bad decision feel?
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
