Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
