In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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