i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Randomize