she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
