DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
