THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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