i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
