I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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