Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
