I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
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