you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
What changed your mind?
Being sober
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I think I just sharted jello shots
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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