I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
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