if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Randomize
