Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
