There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Randomize
