Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
It's just like the Real World with babies
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
