One girl and one boy is just not enough.
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
